Sally Fletcher: No Relation

Someone has been brutally murdered at The Bernard Shaw but fret not. Jess Fletch is on the case. She'll be dusting off pint glasses and frisking potential culprits this Thursday, 27th of January, from 8pm.

Niall Morahan (Electric Relaxation) and CASAYH DJs will be serving up a murderous mix on the decks, there'll be a screening of Jessica's last Irish adventure, Murder She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle, games of 'Guess Who?' and hopefully not much more bloodshed.

Free admission. Come As Soon As You Hear.

10 x 10 Drinks Specials
All the following drinks for €10, 7 days a week

2 Vodka 1 Red Bull
2 x Cuba Libre (Havana Rum + Coke)
2 x Cocktails
3 x Corona / Sol
3 x Peroni
3 x Cusquena
3 x K'berg Pear 33cl
3 x Sambucca
3 x Jaegermeister
3 x Tequila

As The Scenery Grows, I See In Different Lights

The dratted snow is finally beginning to melt and, soon, we'll finally be able to leave our homes without recreating the opening scenes of Bambi. To celebrate, we're throwing a heated hootenanny down at The Bernard Thaw.

For your entertainment, we've got a live set by genre-melding songsmith Market Force.

On decks, we've got Mr Alan Taylor cooking up a feast of aural delicacies before he hotfoots it back to London.

CASAYH's Joey and Eimear will be pushing buttons on the mixer and hoping for the best and there'll also be a screening of the Tarantino/Rodriguez Grindhouse double feature, Planet Terror & Death Proof.

Plus, mince pies and a rake of heaters to warm your cockles.

ALSO on Thursday, Le Cool Dublin in association with A Visual Feast present The Bernard Shaw 4th Annual Xmas Exhibition. Full details here.

Give It A Slash, Jack

Come As Soon As You Hear have teamed up with the Forward/Slash boys for a night of mayhem at The Bernard Shaw, this Thursday the 21st as part of the Beatyard Weekender.

From 8 o' clock, we'll have a selection of New Volta Film Club shorts, curated by Bob Gallagher, as well as CASAYH's interactive performance, which features flower crafts, fortune-telling and Facebook photography.

DJs Frankie Grimes, James McLoughlin, Haido, Eimear Fitzmaurice and kDamo will be soundtracking the evening with all manner of blissed-out beats.

Hip-hopper Bob Glynn will be playing some tunes, the enigmatic Lobster Boy will be putting his claws to use by whipping up some visual delights and, to top it all off, we'll be marking International Day of the Nacho.

Bernard Shaw drinks promos? Check. Free admission? Czech. Go getcha some.

If you can't make it along to this, fret not. There's plenty more fun to be had over the weekend. A full listing of what's happening for The Beatyard Weekender can be seen here.

We're all hoping to make it down to the all-new Toejam Mini Mall, a compact edition of their renowned Carboot Sale, to see if I can gleam some bargains.

It's Not That Common, It Doesn't Happen To Every Guy, And It Is A Big Deal

Come As Soon As You Hear are rolling back into the Bernard Shaw, sides splitting and tears rolling down our eyes. Do join us for our comedic line-up this Thursday at 8pm.

Inside, we have Shinoxcy, an all-new, all-female, all-lycra sketch comedy troupe consisting of Roxanna NicLiam, Sinead Lynch and Lucy Montague-Moffatt. They have been making each other laugh since they met at the tender age of three, so most of their sketches ar...e based on true stories.

In the beer garden, we have Valerie Ní Loinsigh, a musical, charismatic ginge with an obscure view on life and her mother. Has compared herself to 'a morbeg on acid, but without the political agenda and subliminal messages.' If you ever wanted to see what could have been had 'Annie' and the 'girl from the exorcist' been spliced together genetically, this is your chance.

Music will be provided by Anatomy's resident vamp Ev Ní Cionnaith, who will be rustling up a generous platter of indie, dub and electro for your aural delight.

Kicks off at 8pm. Thursday the 12th @ The Bernard Shaw. Completely free of charge. Pow pow.

Please Refrain From Peeing In The Paddling Pool

Ya hear me? Point your pistol elsewhere.

Splash As Soon As You Hear kicks off at 8pm tonight in The Bernard Shaw and we intend to get you wet.

Kicking things off will be the waterfight to end all waterfights, so bring along your sturdiest super-soaker (we'll have some limited ammunition for those that come unarmed).

Then, we have live performances by WAR's resident studmuffin David Middle Names O' Carroll and, quantum leaping from 1957 just to be with us, Rick O' Shea & The Stray Bullets.

We'll also have DJ sets from CASAYH's Karl & Liana.

Best thing of all? It's 100% free.

Cilla, We Cill-ute You.

image courtesy of zombio.com

Few people realise the true impact of Cilla Black's wisdom on popular culture, but if we take a look at these excerpts from her agony aunt column (courtesy of Cosmo) from the late 90's, we can see just how influential she was.

Imogen:

I mean, I meant well, and it's all for the best really. And she did say some mean things (mumble mumble).

Cilla: Mmm, what did you just say? And in response to the rest; of course you did, and of course it is. But just to clarify, what did she say?

Miley: Well, I've kind of got my sights set on this guy. But he's all into abstinence, which really isn't my thing.

Cilla: Tell him you're ready to wait.

Beyonce: I like it, but what should I do with it?

Cilla: Put a ring on it.

Lady G: I want his love and I want his revenge. I just wish I could express it in some kind of romantic novel. I'm just not sure if it will be good enough.

Cilla: Bad romances are nothing to be ashamed of, ask him to help you write it.

If you wish to honor GodCilla as we do, then come on down to Twisted Blind Date in The Bernard Shaw on Valentines day, 7:30pm, for as a wise woman once said: "Slam your body down now, zig-a-zig aah"

Knockout

This Thursday, 4th of Februrary, 8 - 12 @ The Bernard Shaw. Full details here.