Street Art Club.

A review of this thing that we did.

Club day 1:

So, there are nineteen of us, we’re at the Bernard Shaw, we’ve pretty much all got a pint in front of us. But we’re not just there for pints, we’ve got some serious street art to do. Will starts us off with drawing dots in boxes (still not exactly sure where that fits in in the grand scheme of things), but before long we’re cutting and snipping and making. And drinking. We had to come up with a wicked cool street art name, but unfortunately I drew a blank and settled with “Ah yeah”. Credible, right? This one girl picked “Miley Cyrus” ironically, or perhaps tragically. We all make little collages on canvas and are then sent off to drop them off in various locations around town. On the back of each piece is a message asking the finder to keep the art and send the artist an email. My boss took my one home. It’s sitting on his desk now. The concept, in this case, slightly diluted.

Club day 2:

It’s a very sunny day. We’re out the back of the GBS again. We’ve all brought white T-shirts. We’ve all, once more, got pints. And this time, Will gives us free knives. A knife each. We’ve to cut stencils and make T-shirt prints. This time Will is aided by prolific street artist Sophie. One girl once again creates a Miley Cyrus themed piece, and we all edge away from her (and talk about her behind her back). Anyway, our new stencil cutting stills acquired, we all pose with our new, self-made T-shirts.

Club day 3:

The mission is to make paste-ups for the jacks. The theme? Mutant Super-heroes. A good theme, everyone agrees. The Miley Cyrus obsessed girl now creates a super villain called Hetrosexuality, who is a New York Jew who forces gay men to have sex with her. Fittingly, I created Super Gay Animal Orgy... Man, who enjoys the company of sharks, seals and turtles. In our toilet wall graffiti universe they are nemeses. Also, as an aside, the girl’s toilets in the Bernard Shaw are twice, if not thrice as beautiful as the men’s.

We’ve still got another workshop to go, before we get to graduate as rad cool street artists. I’m already working out the best way to sell out and go corporate. I think Absolut Ah Yeah has a nice ring to it. Ah yeah.

théátréCHUMBUNCH

The Magic Bracelet

Fake Valentine's Rrrave.

It's 7am.
Underground Basement.
Multi-coloured fluorescent lights.
The bass is pumping.
Rack-pack on the decks.

Where am I?
Where were you?

Rewind 10 hours:

Saturday 21st of February. Nine PM.
The doors of the Basement open for business.
It's Fake Valentine's Day, hosted by Come As Soon As You Hear.
Stickers are everywhere. Everywhere.
First band Their First Fiasco are up. It's already jammers to the max.

In the corner above some inexplicable yellow, red, blue and green dots, there's an art instillation. "Shoulda put a ring on it" by Karl Watson. Oh, Beyonce, how we love you. Dotted around the venue, in nooks and crannies and on ceilings, little motivational phrases and sayings about love are hidden. Every here and there love poems adorn the wall.

Go through a tunnel. There's a coffee table full of free rub on tattoos. There's a film room showing Fake Lonely Hearts dating videos. There's the truly adorable "Tunnel of Lust". "Hold hands, Walk in, Lie down & enjoy the view" the instructions read. On the ceiling, the stars of the night sky are projected. It's special.

But wait there's more. In the back room there's a message board. Everyone is given a numbered sticker when they arrive and people are writing messages to each other. In the final corner some people are making hand made (Fake) Valentine's Cards. All is full of love.

Back in the main room, the second band are taking the stage. Over two hundred people have arrived. At half eleven a rousing version of Blind Date takes place, hosted by Rosh. The winning couple are forced to spend twenty minutes alone in the Tunnel of Lust. Ten years from now they'll be married and commuting from Maynooth.
The final band play. It's Kellie Marie and the Rest. They wear neon wigs, sunglasses and PVC pants. The crowd are at their mercy.

Many people are in costume. There's Doctor Love, there's the Queen of Hearts, there's Marilyn, there's a Virgin. There's lots, and lots, and lots of catface face paint. The bands finish, the DJs start. Killian's first, then the Rack Pack spin 'til about 8am. Carla and Zara masterfully weave the party tunage.

Things happen. People kiss, hold hands, kiss other people. French kiss. A Doctor Not Love appears. The UCD Badminton Club arrive. Jodie comes (hurray!). A contingent from DYT spread the love. Someone puts Never Ending Story on in the film room and Sarah Bradley covers sleepers in blankets, lest they catch cold.

We wake up, hours later. If it weren't for the smudgy dregs of cat whiskers on my face I would think it was all a dream.

It was too good to not be.

Facepainting

me: let's talk dirty to each other

Zarla: OMG for fucks sake LOL LMFAO

me: I'm taking off your breasts

Zarla: em...I'm slowly unzipping ur penis

me: And revealing your soft tissuey muscles

Zarla: and letting the nerve tissue spill out

me: your delicious blood is a natural lubricant

and I'm wet all over
with blood
(yours)

Zarla: I put on beautiful face paint.

me: I'm wiping off your face paint

Zarla: JACK

me: with acid

Zarla: OH JACK
ACID
MMMM

me: your skeletal face bones
are revealed
you look pale and beautiful
like an angel
of death
I like your cheek
bone
I lick it
And nibble at the fleshy remainder hanging on to it

Zarla: oh lord

me: My penis enters you
r eye socket
Your brain squelches as my throbbing head hits off it
The noise would make me more erect
if that were possible

But instead,
I come.
I come as soon as I hear it.