Fake Valentine's Rrrave.

It's 7am.
Underground Basement.
Multi-coloured fluorescent lights.
The bass is pumping.
Rack-pack on the decks.

Where am I?
Where were you?

Rewind 10 hours:

Saturday 21st of February. Nine PM.
The doors of the Basement open for business.
It's Fake Valentine's Day, hosted by Come As Soon As You Hear.
Stickers are everywhere. Everywhere.
First band Their First Fiasco are up. It's already jammers to the max.

In the corner above some inexplicable yellow, red, blue and green dots, there's an art instillation. "Shoulda put a ring on it" by Karl Watson. Oh, Beyonce, how we love you. Dotted around the venue, in nooks and crannies and on ceilings, little motivational phrases and sayings about love are hidden. Every here and there love poems adorn the wall.

Go through a tunnel. There's a coffee table full of free rub on tattoos. There's a film room showing Fake Lonely Hearts dating videos. There's the truly adorable "Tunnel of Lust". "Hold hands, Walk in, Lie down & enjoy the view" the instructions read. On the ceiling, the stars of the night sky are projected. It's special.

But wait there's more. In the back room there's a message board. Everyone is given a numbered sticker when they arrive and people are writing messages to each other. In the final corner some people are making hand made (Fake) Valentine's Cards. All is full of love.

Back in the main room, the second band are taking the stage. Over two hundred people have arrived. At half eleven a rousing version of Blind Date takes place, hosted by Rosh. The winning couple are forced to spend twenty minutes alone in the Tunnel of Lust. Ten years from now they'll be married and commuting from Maynooth.
The final band play. It's Kellie Marie and the Rest. They wear neon wigs, sunglasses and PVC pants. The crowd are at their mercy.

Many people are in costume. There's Doctor Love, there's the Queen of Hearts, there's Marilyn, there's a Virgin. There's lots, and lots, and lots of catface face paint. The bands finish, the DJs start. Killian's first, then the Rack Pack spin 'til about 8am. Carla and Zara masterfully weave the party tunage.

Things happen. People kiss, hold hands, kiss other people. French kiss. A Doctor Not Love appears. The UCD Badminton Club arrive. Jodie comes (hurray!). A contingent from DYT spread the love. Someone puts Never Ending Story on in the film room and Sarah Bradley covers sleepers in blankets, lest they catch cold.

We wake up, hours later. If it weren't for the smudgy dregs of cat whiskers on my face I would think it was all a dream.

It was too good to not be.