As The Scenery Grows, I See In Different Lights

The dratted snow is finally beginning to melt and, soon, we'll finally be able to leave our homes without recreating the opening scenes of Bambi. To celebrate, we're throwing a heated hootenanny down at The Bernard Thaw.

For your entertainment, we've got a live set by genre-melding songsmith Market Force.

On decks, we've got Mr Alan Taylor cooking up a feast of aural delicacies before he hotfoots it back to London.

CASAYH's Joey and Eimear will be pushing buttons on the mixer and hoping for the best and there'll also be a screening of the Tarantino/Rodriguez Grindhouse double feature, Planet Terror & Death Proof.

Plus, mince pies and a rake of heaters to warm your cockles.

ALSO on Thursday, Le Cool Dublin in association with A Visual Feast present The Bernard Shaw 4th Annual Xmas Exhibition. Full details here.

Give It A Slash, Jack

Come As Soon As You Hear have teamed up with the Forward/Slash boys for a night of mayhem at The Bernard Shaw, this Thursday the 21st as part of the Beatyard Weekender.

From 8 o' clock, we'll have a selection of New Volta Film Club shorts, curated by Bob Gallagher, as well as CASAYH's interactive performance, which features flower crafts, fortune-telling and Facebook photography.

DJs Frankie Grimes, James McLoughlin, Haido, Eimear Fitzmaurice and kDamo will be soundtracking the evening with all manner of blissed-out beats.

Hip-hopper Bob Glynn will be playing some tunes, the enigmatic Lobster Boy will be putting his claws to use by whipping up some visual delights and, to top it all off, we'll be marking International Day of the Nacho.

Bernard Shaw drinks promos? Check. Free admission? Czech. Go getcha some.

If you can't make it along to this, fret not. There's plenty more fun to be had over the weekend. A full listing of what's happening for The Beatyard Weekender can be seen here.

We're all hoping to make it down to the all-new Toejam Mini Mall, a compact edition of their renowned Carboot Sale, to see if I can gleam some bargains.

I'll Have Her Home By Twelve...

Slutbear cordially invites you, the Class of 2010, to the night of your lives.

We're talking ugly dresses, dodgy suits, embarrassing decorations, spiked punch, photobooth, minging corsages and the filthiest pop and disco beats you'll find this side of your limo.

This Saturday, 28th August the Mezz will play host to the Come As Soon As You Hear Prom with some tunes from quarterback extraordinaire, KILLIAN COYLE, the ever-so-dapper SUPERSUPERDISCO escorts and the oh-so-foxy, homecoming queen Ms SARAH BYRNE (WAR).

There will be slow dances. There will be a homecoming queen and king. There will be filthy dancing. And you better be dressed to disgrace yourself.

From 11pm. Free before 12am/€5 after if you pop your details in here: http://short.ie/prom

If you've gotten this password from Babes Behan, you have two choices:

Join The Fun or End The Fun

See you at Electric Picnic

Goodness Gracious

A night of Comedy and Music, under cover of a big MARQUEE, and with it's own in-house(in-square) bar.
We'll be doing our original brand of Promenade Theatre/ Comedy Improvisation/ Pervasive Game/ Treasure Hunt that you've seen us do at Body & Soul, Astral Plains and soon, Electric Picnic.

Get your palm read by Madame Maureen.

Join the Anti-Party Party with Fergus McRiona, Junior T.D.

Make 'Flower Crafts' with Lucy Lovestone

or

Get your 'Facebook Profile Photo' shot with Babes Behan

Friday 20th August, 9pm

Tickets: €10 (€7 student/unwaged)


For more information see:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=126558307388642&ref=ts

or
http://www.templebar.ie/EventDetail.aspx?eventid=146

It's Not That Common, It Doesn't Happen To Every Guy, And It Is A Big Deal

Come As Soon As You Hear are rolling back into the Bernard Shaw, sides splitting and tears rolling down our eyes. Do join us for our comedic line-up this Thursday at 8pm.

Inside, we have Shinoxcy, an all-new, all-female, all-lycra sketch comedy troupe consisting of Roxanna NicLiam, Sinead Lynch and Lucy Montague-Moffatt. They have been making each other laugh since they met at the tender age of three, so most of their sketches ar...e based on true stories.

In the beer garden, we have Valerie Ní Loinsigh, a musical, charismatic ginge with an obscure view on life and her mother. Has compared herself to 'a morbeg on acid, but without the political agenda and subliminal messages.' If you ever wanted to see what could have been had 'Annie' and the 'girl from the exorcist' been spliced together genetically, this is your chance.

Music will be provided by Anatomy's resident vamp Ev Ní Cionnaith, who will be rustling up a generous platter of indie, dub and electro for your aural delight.

Kicks off at 8pm. Thursday the 12th @ The Bernard Shaw. Completely free of charge. Pow pow.

En Plein Air

Live shows from Hugh Cooney, Enda Mac Nally and Come As Soon As You Hear, followed by DJ sets from C.A.S.A.Y.H DJ’s, SUPA FAST, Enda Mac Nally and maybe even a few tunes from South African techno/house legend Dwayne Housen.

Check out more details on:
Temple Bar Cultural Trust

Doctor, Doctor, I'm All In A Twist...

Visit http://short.ie/accident and pop in your details to get free entry to Accident As Soon As You Emergency. Your life depends on it.



Accident As Soon As You Emergency - Saturday 31st @ Twisted Pepper by thebubbleboy

Please Refrain From Peeing In The Paddling Pool

Ya hear me? Point your pistol elsewhere.

Splash As Soon As You Hear kicks off at 8pm tonight in The Bernard Shaw and we intend to get you wet.

Kicking things off will be the waterfight to end all waterfights, so bring along your sturdiest super-soaker (we'll have some limited ammunition for those that come unarmed).

Then, we have live performances by WAR's resident studmuffin David Middle Names O' Carroll and, quantum leaping from 1957 just to be with us, Rick O' Shea & The Stray Bullets.

We'll also have DJ sets from CASAYH's Karl & Liana.

Best thing of all? It's 100% free.

Not If You Were The Last Dandy On Earth...

Come As Soon As You Hear's shindig at Twisted Pepper this Saturday the 19th from 11 is set to be the party to end all parties. Literally...

Here at CASAYH's secret underground headquarters, we received a pretty disturbing email from an anonymous “N”. He/she writes:

“Come Soon ye sinners, the end is near
Our warning call you all must Hear
By way of storm or gaping chasm
Our Earth’s fine crust shall wretch and spasm

She’ll suddenly refuse to tilt
Until a virgin’s blood is spilled
Tainted blood she won’t allow
Have mercy on our souls. Miaow”

Can you hear that? The vuvuzelas of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as they speedily approach? That's right. Our days are numbered. Unless we find a virgin to sacrifice, Saturday will be our last. So, let's make it count.

How will you meet your grizzly fate? Porcupine to the heart? Ingrown Olsen Twin? Cruciatus Curse? Show us how by dressing accordingly. We want to know how it happens.

☠ Cataclysmic choons from PONY KIDS and CASAYH DJs ☠ Gallons of blood ☠ Decimating drinks promotions ☠ Dance, dance, dancing to death ☠ Virgin sacrifice and/or The End of The World™ ☠

Get in for the cheaper price of €5 by shlapping your details on here: http://short.ie/apocalypse

Come As Soon As You Hear.

En Garde

Somewhere,
In a mezzanine above Twisted Pepper...

Trouble was a brewing. Captain Trouble, that is, brewing her Come As Soon As You Beer, under the watchful eye of The Alchemist, Shadowcat, and Concussion. Their dastardly plan to turn the whole city of Dublin into aloof, cynical hipsters by way of poisonous elixir was well under way.

Meanwhile,
in a secret lair under Clarendon St...

Helpful Girl, with the aid of her trusty binoculars, had those wretched villains well within her sights. She, alongside Basilisk, Lockjaw and Frostbite (known as The Hyper Friends) would thwart their evil plans once and for all. Now that you have Heard, Come join them in their quest to save our city!

Your mission:

Come to The Basement @ Clarendon House at 8:30pm and bring your own beer to counteract the poison. Here you will be given your Superhero name, and kitted out in appropriate garb, if you have not already done so. Then we will ambush The Twisted Pepper at 11pm sharp, and engage in a battle to end all battles.

When you hear the klaxon, that's your chance to grab the nearest sticker labelled "POW", "ZWANG", "KNARG" "ETC", and whack it on your enemies. So villains, heed our call! You can Run As Soon As You Hear but you can't Hide As Soon As You Hear. All my single superheroes, put your hands up, and Kick Some Ass As Soon As You Hear.

Bat time: 11pm, Saturday 15th of May
Bat channel: The Mezz at Twisted Pepper
Bat price: A fiver if you put your name on this here bat-cheaplist - http://short.ie/kick

Strike The Pose

Vogue As Soon As You Hear. 17th of April. Twisted Pepper. 11pm - late. Cheaplist: here.

Well, Holy God

Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The Virgin Mary and you.

Oh come all ye faithless and prepare to be converted. After her recent sell-out show at Knock, The Blessed Virgin is making a one night only apparition at the Bernard Shaw on Holy Fool's Thursday, the 1st of April, and it promises to be divine.

Featuring....

Tunes from both testaments and virtuous visuals from Collidoscope (http://soundcloud.com/collidoscope/tracks)
Euchristic electropop from Come As Soon As You Hear's Joey Kavanagh & Eimear Fitzmaurice
Decades of The Rosary
Baptisms
Condom Communion
Religious treats
And, of course, an appearance by The Madonna herself

This Facebook invite has ended. Go now in peace, to love and serve The Lord.

Deeper Underground

The Basement is an underground performance and rehearsal space that has been our base of operations for the past year or so and the organisers of a series of 'Scriptscribe' workshops felt it was about time we included it in our plays.

Six writers have drawn inspiration from The Basement and come up with an original 20 minute script. Some of these will eventually be performed in The Basement but, for now, we're hoping you'll come along and check out the scripts-in-progress.

This evening and tomorrow evening there will be rehearsed readings of the 20 min scripts in The Basement (Clarendon House, Clarendon Street, Dublin 2).

Come. Listen. Discuss. Wine. Whine.

[Tueday 23d @ 8pm]
Readings of work by:
John Singleton
Tim Smyth
Meadhbh Haiceid

[Wednesday 24th @8pm]
Readings of work by:
Jennifer Carroll
Louise Melinn
Joey Kavanagh

Entry: €3 (suggested)

Dramaturgy by Dan Colley and Bryan Moriarty. Facilitated by Róisín Mcgann.

Future's Made of Virtual Insanity

We're swapping clothes again, but this time we're stripping off on chatroulette.com.

Instruction manual for 'Chat As Soon As You Roulette':

1. Come.
2. Do a sexy dance for the benefit of those watching you on their computer screens.
3. When the klaxon sounds, 'next' your clothes by swapping 'em with someone nearby.
4. Repeat steps 2 - 3 until you...
5. Come.
6. Exeunt.

Dress code: Clothes you might never see again.

Choons: Of the bangin' variety. Served up by electro fiend Shane Kelly and pop purveyor Conor Behan (AKA Platinum Jones).

€5 before 12 if you fill your details into this here cheaplist - http://short.ie/chat

Bright Like Neon Love

On 20th of February 2010, Skins As Soon As You Hear rocked The Twisted Pepper. Hard. Details as to what exactly went down are sketchy. This much we know:

DJs Peter Fingleton (of C.U.N.T. notoriety) and Frankie Grimes provided a lethal cocktail of tunes.

Everything was ultraviolet. Or maybe that was 'ultra-violent'? No, we think it's the first one.

There are fuzzy reports of a klaxon blaring, provoking strangers to scrawl on each other with UV markers and affix stickers to each other.

Guests signed this guestlist http://short.ie/skins to get in for a discounted price of €5.

Do you know what happened? If so, please let us know at comeassoonasyouhear@gmail.com. We'd appreciate any information you can provide.

Find out more here.

Cilla, We Cill-ute You.

image courtesy of zombio.com

Few people realise the true impact of Cilla Black's wisdom on popular culture, but if we take a look at these excerpts from her agony aunt column (courtesy of Cosmo) from the late 90's, we can see just how influential she was.

Imogen:

I mean, I meant well, and it's all for the best really. And she did say some mean things (mumble mumble).

Cilla: Mmm, what did you just say? And in response to the rest; of course you did, and of course it is. But just to clarify, what did she say?

Miley: Well, I've kind of got my sights set on this guy. But he's all into abstinence, which really isn't my thing.

Cilla: Tell him you're ready to wait.

Beyonce: I like it, but what should I do with it?

Cilla: Put a ring on it.

Lady G: I want his love and I want his revenge. I just wish I could express it in some kind of romantic novel. I'm just not sure if it will be good enough.

Cilla: Bad romances are nothing to be ashamed of, ask him to help you write it.

If you wish to honor GodCilla as we do, then come on down to Twisted Blind Date in The Bernard Shaw on Valentines day, 7:30pm, for as a wise woman once said: "Slam your body down now, zig-a-zig aah"

Chop Suey

Kid Karate @ The Letter K, Bernard Shaw, 04/02/10. Full photo-set here.

Knockout

This Thursday, 4th of Februrary, 8 - 12 @ The Bernard Shaw. Full details here.

Gimme That Back

Swap As Soon As You Hear, as photographed by Kevin Breen.

Where's Me Jumper?

[via Eimear]

Bath-Time